The Morality of Shopping Carts

Dear You,

This is the end of the beginning.

After cutting off all communication with my ex-fiance , successfully failing at online dating, and deciding that I should not morally be seeking a new relationship at this point in my life, I have decided to create this blog and comment on the single life of the midwest, along with comical observations about the ass-crack of America.

To wit:

The worst people in the world may be the customers at groceries stores that wheel out their purchased groceries with a cart that is the property of the aforementioned random grocery store, proceed to load their groceries into their vehicle, and then leave the cart in the nearest empty parking space. I hate these people for two reasons. One, because I worked at a grocery store in my early years, and had to haul in ten to twenty of those sprawled carts at a time. And the more that they are sprawled, the longer it takes me to do my job. Especially being that it is currently winter, with the possibility of snow in the parking lot, which creates an extra layer of difficulty of the job. Now, I am not complaining about the job because I chose the job and agreed to fulfill the requirements of the position, as do all grocery store bag-boy/cart-retreivers. But most grocery stores in this millennium have metal racks (if you will) that hold several shopping carts, which are conveniently located at strategic areas of the parking lot. In point, the argument does not exist (most of the time) that there is “no place to put the carts”. At the most, you are upholding your unwritten duties as a customers that has freely rented a businesses cart (because you can bring your own damn bags), and truly helped another human being by taking a few seconds to place the cart in one of the racks. Because every bag-boy/cart-retriever is not paid enough to haul twenty frozen, poorly oiled, carts hundreds of feet through a parking, while not hitting your car, only to get inside and wait to do it again ten minutes later.

Secondly, and most importantly, by placing a cart in an empty parking spot you have eliminated the option for a future customer to use that parking spot without having to park their vehicle first and remove the cart before pulling into the space. That is just common decency for fellow humans. The argument does exist that you were unaware of said metal racks based on position of vehicle in much larger parking lots (e.g. Meijer), as long as you are being honest with yourself; some people are in a rush to a future appointment or emergency, and genuinely feel bad about dicking over a stranger ; or you  could be a lazy piece of shit that does not have the ability to understand that the world exists outside of your head and personal needs. I suspect that majority of these people, whom I still see flinging their carts today, hold the attribute of the latter.

Therefore, that will be my first criteria in selecting a future mate:

  1. You must be the kind of person that will always place your used shopping cart in a place that is not in the way of potential (or visible) vehicles, if not able to take the cart to a metal rack or back into the store.

I have a feeling this is going to be a long list before I’m done. Cheers.

Note: No animal, living or dead, was harmed during the making of this blog. 


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